Should Parents STAY TOGETHER 4 Sake of da KIDS? Soaring DIVORCE Rates & Effect on..

[Tev]

..the CHILDREN.

the average marriage lasts 7 years. 60% of all marriages in US end in DIVORCE. that means more than half of all american kids may be traumatized by their parents' separation around/before they even reach their teens - a crucial stage in psychosocial development.

could this be the conditioning blame for the growing increase in divorce rate of every generation - toward 100% divorce rate, and increasingly violent & mentally disturbed youth? (ie, virtually every major social pathology - including violent crime, drug and alcohol abuse, truancy, teen pregnancy and suicide - is statistically associated with fatherlessness)

or... should we just not take these statistics to mind to much because most separations are not by choice, and besides life just happens! you can't avoid the unexpected inevitables anyways, just deal with it (ie, co-parenting after divorce/separation) and teach your kids to cope, adapt, still love and be loved and live successful independent lives, whether mommy or daddy stay together or not??

[gaykhmerguy]

Parents need to put aside their differences, and stay together for the kids. If they did that, everything would be just fine. Divorce is selfish because it usually means that they didn't even try. It's bad because divorce usually means not seeing the kid for days...that's just wrong. Not only that, the parents go out dating and f*cking other people.

I have no respect for people who got divorce.

[gaykhmerguy]

Just to add, divorce rates will eventually fall because only serious people will marry in the future. People will not trust each other that much to marry. We'll be a society where people have kids out of wedlock. Meeting somebody that is married, only have kids by one couple, will be like meeting a khmer person with a college education...rare.

[Tev]

Just to add, divorce rates will eventually fall because only serious people will marry in the future. People will not trust each other that much to marry. We'll be a society where people have kids out of wedlock. Meeting somebody that is married, only have kids by one couple, will be like meeting a khmer person with a college education...rare.

most of the mothers i know have one kid each, from a different father. making all their kids half-siblings. and the ones with the same father, its cuz they had a 'litter'

[Ch33secake]

Parents need to put aside their differences, and stay together for the kids. If they did that, everything would be just fine. Divorce is selfish because it usually means that they didn't even try. It's bad because divorce usually means not seeing the kid for days...that's just wrong. Not only that, the parents go out dating and f*cking other people.

I have no respect for people who got divorce.

well what if one of the spouse was abusive?

[gaykhmerguy]

The vast majority of the time, a partner is a abusive when they are dating. They still marry and have kids. When they divorce, it's usually because somebody took them out of the situation, such as police, social worker, etc. So kudos for them for leaving..but I have no respect for stupid women that have children with abusive men.

Just to add, battered women always say they don't leave because of the children...yet the vast majority of them were abused before having kids. I just wished that the husband killed them before having kids. That way, stupid women can die and stupid men can go to prison.

well what if one of the spouse was abusive?

[RAZOR_BLADE]

Happy parents can produce happy kids. It matters not if the parents are together. It's the love you give to your kid and how you raise them to understand the realities of life and relationships.

[camb0dianguy]

If two people are unhappy, I don't think they should stay together even though they have children. Although, I do believe even if they're not together, they both should continue to be a part of the child's life. this is a very complicated subject to I will just leave it at that.

[LaoGuy]

NO! But I can understand how people would think it's a good idea. In the long run, you'are actuallly doing more damage to the kids than good. I strongly agree with cambodianguy.

[gaykhmerguy]

The problem I have with this is that parents don't have a right to put their happiness over their kids'....which they often do. Happiness should be being with your kid every single day. Most people aren't happy with their jobs, but they don't go quitting, yet they quit on their families. Whoever said "I'll quit my job and get a job where I work 3 days week"? In divorce families, that is what happens and you have to make appointments just to talk about small things that you can by knocking on your parents door or talk to them in the living room.

People love giving excuses, but I believe that if parents divorce, they didn't even try. They choose to put themselves over their children and fight. After divorce, they go around partying and sleeping with other people...that's healthy for the kid?? People who divorce are much more likely to divorce again and again...might as well get it right the first time..or least for the kids.

If two people are unhappy, I don't think they should stay together even though they have children. Although, I do believe even if they're not together, they both should continue to be a part of the child's life. this is a very complicated subject to I will just leave it at that.

[Paully]

The problem I have with this is that parents don't have a right to put their happiness over their kids'....which they often do. Happiness should be being with your kid every single day. Most people aren't happy with their jobs, but they don't go quitting, yet they quit on their families. Whoever said "I'll quit my job and get a job where I work 3 days week"? In divorce families, that is what happens and you have to make appointments just to talk about small things that you can by knocking on your parents door or talk to them in the living room.

People love giving excuses, but I believe that if parents divorce, they didn't even try. They choose to put themselves over their children and fight. After divorce, they go around partying and sleeping with other people...that's healthy for the kid?? People who divorce are much more likely to divorce again and again...might as well get it right the first time..or least for the kids.

Lol. XD

[Tev]

http://khmerization.blogspot.com/201...m-home-to.html

[llcoolrich]

I think a lot of people who married and got a divorce did it too soon or just didn't understand what a marriage is about.

Marriage is well beyond the love/infatuation stage. If your wife cant cook and you as a man, don't have a stable job and you both are going clubbing every week, i can totally see a divorce happening. Thats just one out of the million examples though, it dont gotta be that one scenario.

Marriage is about establishing roles, making sure you can both live with each other (compatability), and bare a child together as well as making sure your finances are up to par. GF/BF is all adrenaline and emotions. Marriage is the after effect, when reality checks in. Most marriages in my opinion should have just stayed at the BF/Gf level cause I don't think they dealt with real world issues before, money is an inevitable issue in every relationship.

I think if parents had thought thru before they had the kid, this wont even be an issue. Most people just fall into the moment without thinking. And if I was in this situation, I would get a divorce. Ideally I wouldnt but if im arguing everyday with the wife why would i want my child to see that? Realistically, its better to get a divorce.

My 2 cents.

[Halcyon]

My parents are divorced and it's a bit hard to keep the love for both of them in one place. I end up missing one or the other.

Kids will understand at some point that people fight and things go south. Fighting and shouting in front of your little ones is abusive to them. They have little hearts and feelings and every time their parents raise their voice, it reverberates in their chest. Not such a good feeling for little children to witness such angry emotions from adults.

I consider it abuse when you do your silly fighting in front of your kids. Abuse does not start with stop with physical contact. We know emotional and mental abuse can happen too.

Stay together for the sake of the kids and if it doesn't work out, make the split mutual. Learn to be good parents even if the love dies out. There's always your kids to make sure LOVE never does.

[SMILEY]

I was traumatized with my parents even though they were together. They are now divorced for about 8-9 years now. I think my mom did stay with my dad for the sake of us, also when I were a kid along with my brother, would try and make my parents get along. When they would fight or argue, they would go their own ways and we would run to our dad and mom and cry.

I've noticed other neighborhood kids had some similar issues with their parents, we had bonded.. I don't know how I would handle it if they were to separate when were still young. I was always angry, sad, and rebellious.

I think parents should separate if it's unhealthy for them and their kids, but have a mutual relationship just for the sake of the kids.