Once you become a mom

[Icyfrozen]

Is it true. once you become a mom, you won't act the same way as before? For example, a mother will not care of anything else but her child and her family. She can become a mom at age of 18 and mature by that time and be worried about her little child.

[k82562131]

once i become a dad, i won't care about anything else but my child and my family. hence, no need to have any kids for me right now

[sSilentxstarzZ]

It all depends on the person. There's plenty of careless young mothers out there who leaves their child with the grandparents all the time so she can go out and party.

[Samster]

It all depends on the person. There's plenty of careless young mothers out there who leaves their child with the grandparents all the time so she can go out and party.

I agree.
I have someone from the family tree that is not a young mother, but always leaves her kids home expecting others to "watch them."
And that is why I have nothing to do with her.
With her it's the other way around. She was mature, but now she isn't. Why? Idk.

[RAZOR_BLADE]

People do change after having a child. Some change for the worse, while others change for the better. I've seen this first hand.

[Mizz_Luv3r]

It all depends on the person. Personally, I haven't really changed. I don't have any bad habits anyway. But being a mother has made me smile a little more. Before I buy things or do things for myself, I always think of my baby first. I guess you do grow up when an innocent life is in your care. I wouldn't recommend being a teen mom though. I'm very fortunate to have had my daughter after I finished college and had a stabled career. Nothing against any teen moms, but the stresses of parenting is better when you're stabled in all aspects.

[Sary]

I wouldn't be the type of mom who abandons her children for others to babysit. I mean, they're mine and I brought them into the world, so they're my responsibility.

[serendipity]

I think it is true. My priorities will definitely change once I have a child.

I don't know exactly when I'll be a mother, but I've been very close to my first nephew, Brandon. I treat him like he's my son. The moment I held him, I felt a certain way that no words could ever come close to. That's exactly what having a child does to a person. I built conditional love for Brandon seconds after I held him.

[gaykhmerguy]

People in general don't really change after having kids. Look at how many deadbeat dads and loser moms there are out there. I think that it usually make people worst, from losing their looks to cheating others to care for their kids, etc. Point is, a good head on one's shoulder is a good head when they have kids. Losers who have kids are still losers.

[VWAaron]

i'd be a bad mom :(

[Icyfrozen]

i'd be a bad mom :(
I believe you, hehe.

[BloodyTamponForSale]

Once you become a mom:

You're either a MILF or a sagging hag.

Then again, there's always an exception to the rule.

[Icyfrozen]

it's the opposite. Being Khmer, grandma and grandpa help out so moms have more freedom. but it depends I seen people move in the opposite direction. Postpartum lol
I used to think of having the parents to help. Not anymore, guess it better to live alone, haha.

[mzthavery]

yes very true i had my oldest son a month before i turn 18 all i kan think about was my son anything for him.

[LaReine]

Being a mom has changed my views on life entirely... I used to base everything on just my feelings, so life was tragic...but because I have younger children, I always have to find a way to be upbeat and positive...in order for my kids to be happy. I never once, on my grave, brought any stress from work on my family. Not on my husband and especially not on my kids. I may be a little lazier, but who can keep up with kid's mess every single time. My parents are more than happy to take my kids off my hands just so I can go out, and take the stress off, because being a mom is not just a part time or even a full time job...it's an Everytime job...and just like everyone else, we need our little getaways and vacations. Sometimes I take my daughter on a small trip with us just so we can have quality time without me paying so much attention to her little brother and just focus on her. We also do the same with our son.

I enjoy being a mom, I've matured and wised up a lot more because I learn from my children that it's okay to laugh sometimes and let things go. They've taught me how to be happy again! My clinical depressions are gone for good!

[Sina]

It all depends on the person. There's plenty of careless young mothers out there who leaves their child with the grandparents all the time so she can go out and party.

That's very true, and also, I think that a woman starts feeling different and changing as soon as she knows she's pregnant. The woman is more conscienscious about anything or anyone getting close to her stomach, she'll unknowingly bring her hand up to her stomach to almost protect and shelter the baby.
But then again, I don't think that statement applies to just moms, I also think it applies to dads as well.

[T.Wizzle]

what one of my professors says is very true. before you have kids.. you're in your own world. then when you do have kids.. this whole other world opens up full of different products, different news you're more concerned about, different literature, etc.. it's kind of amazing.. anyway.. yea.. change for the better or worst.. really depends on the person.

[LaReine]

I love a mom who carries a baby in one hand and a gun in the other. I love a man that carries a baby and a gu....no wait....how can anyone carry a gun that big in their pocket???? :-O

[loverboy209]

still not ready to have any kids though. that's scary stuff.

[Jayavarman]

My friends always brag about having children and being a parent like it's really something special. I told them that it is so easy to have kids that even retarded people have them.

Unfortunately, my son died of Leukemia in 1993 and my marriage fell apart soon after. But, it was a no-brainer. Just a shifting of priorities.

I'm going to help take care of my girlfriends kids and take them under my wing but, I'm not going to give up myself in the process.

Their CAMBODIAN father ran away...

[Ivan]

I've seen noobie moms who still acts like a whore, neglecting their their children and leaving them for their moms to watch em. So nah it's not true.

[May_ly]

Until we have children of our own, we will never understand how much our own parents love us and the sacrifices they've made for us, to be where we are today.

[LaoGuy]

Very well said May. I've always said in this life time there is no way I can ever repay my mom for what she did for us.

[renzlove]

It's not true..I see most girls who have kids acts the same way they did before having kids. I'm more responsible now, as a mom. My son usually comes first. Like I really wanted to get this anti/wrinkle cream..it cost a lil bit over 50 bucks. Mind u I'm almost 30. I would rather take that 50 and get my lil boy a pair of shoes. You know what I mean. You would sacrifice your own needs and want to get something for your kids. Also I had my son already older at the age of 24. Working at the time wasnt making much. But I tried, to take care of my son the best way I could. I'm not a super mom..not perfect but I'm a great mom to my son or least I think so. My whole perspective on life changed. Never once have I depended on my mom to take care of my son or leave him with her while I party or drink and do some crazy things. his dad and I always take him where ever we go. Just the three of us..if we can't take him with us..we simply don't go..Like I see that alot it's really sad. how some of these girls are having babies and are irresponsible and leaves their babies with their parents. I mean if they offered its different, but in some cases..they just leave them to party, go out..the parents have no choice but to care for them while there away...It's bad karma , especially treating your parents bad..r.i.p. MA. :( I'm still in pain to this day..
but what I'm saying is..bringing kids into this world will not changed the person they will need to changed themselves. No one can change them they will have to see it in their hearts, and are willing to change for the better, or for the sake of their children.

[Mizz_Luv3r]

It's not true..I see most girls who have kids acts the same way they did before having kids. I'm more responsible now, as a mom. My son usually comes first. Like I really wanted to get this anti/wrinkle cream..it cost a lil bit over 50 bucks. Mind u I'm almost 30. I would rather take that 50 and get my lil boy a pair of shoes. You know what I mean. You would sacrifice your own needs and want to get something for your kids. Also I had my son already older at the age of 24. Working at the time wasnt making much. But I tried, to take care of my son the best way I could. I'm not a super mom..not perfect but I'm a great mom to my son or least I think so. My whole perspective on life changed. Never once have I depended on my mom to take care of my son or leave him with her while I party or drink and do some crazy things. his dad and I always take him where ever we go. Just the three of us..if we can't take him with us..we simply don't go..Like I see that alot it's really sad. how some of these girls are having babies and are irresponsible and leaves their babies with their parents. I mean if they offered its different, but in some cases..they just leave them to party, go out..the parents have no choice but to care for them while there away...It's bad karma , especially treating your parents bad..r.i.p. MA. :( I'm still in pain to this day..
but what I'm saying is..bringing kids into this world will not changed the person they will need to changed themselves. No one can change them they will have to see it in their hearts, and are willing to change for the better, or for the sake of their children.
That's right, I don't go to parties/clubs/bars. I'm always at home with my daughter. That's why I work on the weekends only. I feel guilty if someone else is watching her. I even scold her dad sometimes if I'm at work and he leaves her with the grandparents for more than 2 hours, if he's not out working. My daughter is my sidekick, she goes wherever I go....lol I was a workoholic during the first 2 years of her life, so I'm making up for lost time. Good thing you have a boy Ren. With girls, every damn thing is cute and you just buy buy buy....lol

[Ivan]

Until we have children of our own, we will never understand how much our own parents love us and the sacrifices they've made for us, to be where we are today.

It doesn't take having children to realize this. When I visit my mom and see my lil sis disrespecting her or not appreciative of the things my mom have provided for us, it pisses me off. One of my pet peeves are children/young folks thinking they're entitled to shit. Like, "you're suppose to feed me because you're a mom & I didn't ask to be born." ...nigga what!? Slap that cunt!

[llcoolrich]

I hate to give a general answer but it depends on the person.

I can say that for most part, it does change people to a degree. If you watch a lot of intervention, most of the drug users will stop using for their kids. Most fail, but it goes to show you they try and care but the drug use is way above them. They need serious help.

Here we are giving examples of bad moms. They care and possibly changed but to them, its like "instead of going clubbing every weekend, I'm just going to go every other week." lol That kind of thing.

[DoungJan]

i'm not a mom, but i do have a baby cousin at home...i don't notice any change from my aunt or uncle -_- maybe it's just me who was always away in college...but i know i change since we have a baby in the house....i hardly suffer from bad mood when i'm around this brat. he's too cute and innocent and so full of life. it rubs off on me. lol

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[HerMajesty]

No ones opinions matter more to me than my kids. I honestly don't care what others say about me whether Im a good parent or not. No one is perfect...but as long as my kids think I'm the coolest, funniest, wackiest, merciful mom....I will die happy knowing they've had real genuine love and will filter out anything else. Ive raised the bar for them.

My 9 yr old has said "its like having more than 4 mommies...but at the same time also like a dad" because I goof off, teach them self discipline and teach them how to box for self defense. Lol.

[gaykhmerguy]

People don't become good because they have kids. Good people become good parents. There is a trend right now for whores that have children to walk around saying they became better when they had a child, but usually their families are worst off.

[Mali]

I'm not quite sure why people are acting like other people/family members watching your kid=irresponsible. People have a life before, during and after their child moves out of the house. Your child should become a healthy part of you, not "you" and forever who you are or will be orbiting.

Personally, I will be almost the same as who I am before and after I have a child. If I want to go out clubbing, I'm going to go out clubbing as long as my parents or a sibling has time to watch my kids. I don't trust ANYONE to watch my child except my family. If no one is free or everyone wants to go as well we'll see if the parents can handle all the kids at once. If not, give and take. Hey Mali, you stay home this time and help mom watch all of the kids and we'll switch.

My siblings have kids and this is how they are and that is perfectly fine. They don't "always" leave their kids for my parents to watch or "always" leave their kids for us to watch. When they do for a good amount of time they will try and pay my parents. If my parents won't take it they buy them things like a camera or Cambodia plane ticket. They buy me food when I watch their kid at times. There have been times where my parents get extremely upset because there were 1-2 months where they don't get to see or watch their grandchild and that's because the parents are busy WITH the kid.

Come on guys Lol...you don't have to give up your life. If you have a support system that would help watch your child, go out and play sometimes. What's wrong with that? Recently my whole family except my parents and I went on a cruise. Our family watched my nieces while my sisters in laws watch my nephew. I couldn't go because of school. No complaints. Why? Because...we love eachother and when I have a child it would be the exact same way.

There are parents out there who won't watch their grandchild and will complain ALL DAY everyday. There are mothers out there who give her child to people that DON'T want to watch her child and when they are forced to do so she doesn't pay them or do anything nice for them so they will complain ALL DAY everyday. That's not what I'm talking about. Everyone lead different lives. As long as you have the support, there's no reason you can't have a life of your own as well.

[Ivan]

It's one thing to let your family members/other people watch your kids for a few hours because you want some time off, but making it a habit out of it where you slowly start to neglect a personal relationship between your child/children is indeed irresponsible and you need to be quarantined for that.

[HerMajesty]

Thats a good point you brought up, Mali. Just because you go out and leave the kids with grandparents so you can go out doesn't mean you are irresponsible. If I didn't have the support system I have right now from my parents or in laws, I'd be living a very mundane life of just home, work, and...welll thats just about it. It is very healthy for parents of children to let themselves loose and live. Happy parents make happy children. A good marriage makes a very stable family. A house built on a stoned foundation can hold up against any storms that comes its way. It may break and tear here or there, but it will still be grounded and some team effort to put back together and made much stronger than before.

If you really want to know if you are a great parent, just have your children do an honest evaluation of you...but don't make them feel obligated to say nice things. Ask if theres anything you can improve on.


I'm not quite sure why people are acting like other people/family members watching your kid=irresponsible. People have a life before, during and after their child moves out of the house. Your child should become a healthy part of you, not "you" and forever who you are or will be orbiting.

Personally, I will be almost the same as who I am before and after I have a child. If I want to go out clubbing, I'm going to go out clubbing as long as my parents or a sibling has time to watch my kids. I don't trust ANYONE to watch my child except my family. If no one is free or everyone wants to go as well we'll see if the parents can handle all the kids at once. If not, give and take. Hey Mali, you stay home this time and help mom watch all of the kids and we'll switch.

My siblings have kids and this is how they are and that is perfectly fine. They don't "always" leave their kids for my parents to watch or "always" leave their kids for us to watch. When they do for a good amount of time they will try and pay my parents. If my parents won't take it they buy them things like a camera or Cambodia plane ticket. They buy me food when I watch their kid at times. There have been times where my parents get extremely upset because there were 1-2 months where they don't get to see or watch their grandchild and that's because the parents are busy WITH the kid.

Come on guys Lol...you don't have to give up your life. If you have a support system that would help watch your child, go out and play sometimes. What's wrong with that? Recently my whole family except my parents and I went on a cruise. Our family watched my nieces while my sisters in laws watch my nephew. I couldn't go because of school. No complaints. Why? Because...we love eachother and when I have a child it would be the exact same way.

There are parents out there who won't watch their grandchild and will complain ALL DAY everyday. There are mothers out there who give her child to people that DON'T want to watch her child and when they are forced to do so she doesn't pay them or do anything nice for them so they will complain ALL DAY everyday. That's not what I'm talking about. Everyone lead different lives. As long as you have the support, there's no reason you can't have a life of your own as well.

[gaykhmerguy]

I thinking going out clubbing is bad. What are you? A single mother???? Do you also go hang out with individual guy friends?? Yep, mother goes out clubbing and hanging with her guy friend. No wonder why we have so much relationship and broken families nowadays.




I
Personally, I will be almost the same as who I am before and after I have a child. If I want to go out clubbing, I'm going to go out clubbing as long as my parents or a sibling has time to watch my kids. I don't trust ANYONE to watch my child except my family. If no one is free or everyone wants to go as well we'll see if the parents can handle all the kids at once. If not, give and take. Hey Mali, you stay home this time and help mom watch all of the kids and we'll switch.

[LaLa]

It's not true. Ive seen people who becomes a mom, and they're still out partying/clubbing while their kid(s) are at grandma's or someone else care.

Personally, I became a mom right when I found out I was pregnant. I sacrificed so much just so I could prepare for this lil one. And after she was born, I gave up everything I had for her. I haven't been to the hair salon or bought anything for myself in two years!! =/

It also opened my eyes to parenthood and made me appreciate my parents even more.

[gaykhmerguy]

Yeah, that's what happen when people truly accept the motherhood role. Things like trying to look good goes to the bottom of the list. I only see a bunch of drunk guys trying to get their freak on at the club and when a woman with children think that's okay to go in that environment, I think it's just sad. If they want to dance, dance at home, or at a family community gathering. I'm so sick of looking at pictures of women with children and clubbing pictures on their profiles.



It's not true. Ive seen people who becomes a mom, and they're still out partying/clubbing while their kid(s) are at grandma's or someone else care.

Personally, I became a mom right when I found out I was pregnant. I sacrificed so much just so I could prepare for this lil one. And after she was born, I gave up everything I had for her. I haven't been to the hair salon or bought anything for myself in two years!! =/

It also opened my eyes to parenthood and made me appreciate my parents even more.

[LaLa]

Yeah, that's what happen when people truly accept the motherhood role. Things like trying to look good goes to the bottom of the list. I only see a bunch of drunk guys trying to get their freak on at the club and when a woman with children think that's okay to go in that environment, I think it's just sad. If they want to dance, dance at home, or at a family community gathering. I'm so sick of looking at pictures of women with children and clubbing pictures on their profiles.

Going to the club once in a while is okay, but once a week..or every other week isn't so. It's pretty sad when people have kid(s) and failed to be parents. They don't understand that this little individual is YOUR responsibility for the rest of your life even after they turn 18!

[Nobody]

It all depends on the person. There's plenty of careless young mothers out there who leaves their child with the grandparents all the time so she can go out and party.

True that. My BM be trippin. Out partying and chasing dick while I'm watching my 7 kids. It's all good though. Between me and KL I'm plotting something so I can get full custody and CPS will keep her away. Let's just say it has something to do with syringes and boos.

[gaykhmerguy]

So is smoking a joint once in a while is okay. Nobody is going to die or get hurt from it. It doesn't make a person bad...but it's stupid. Yes, the consequences of getting caught with weed is worst, but that's a legal issue rather than weed itself. I think smoking a joint, going out to the club, or a wife going out alone with a guy friend is just dumb once in a while is stupid. It's just poor judgement. Going to the club so you can dance around a bunch of insecure girls and horny guys?? It just takes a flame to start a wildfire.

I hit the clubs myself once in a while too. Whether I go every weekend or once in a blue moon, it's stills the same. The clubs are a joke full of people with mental problems and issues that result in fights, random sex, etc. What kind of person would be attracted to even go there once??


Going to the club once in a while is okay, but once a week..or every other week isn't so. It's pretty sad when people have kid(s) and failed to be parents. They don't understand that this little individual is YOUR responsibility for the rest of your life even after they turn 18!

[Tidus]

id have to agree with gaykhmerguy on this 1. if not irresponsible then its just asking for trouble. responsibility of raising a child is no joke...leave the clubbing and smoking whatever to the teens, ur time for that sort of stuff was forfeited the moment another life appeared

[Mali]

Just because SOME of you don't have the SUPPORT and LOVE like some of us do, you will never understand how someone can go out and do what they want but be AMAZING parents. I find this really sad. You think going clubbing a few times a year=irresponsible parents that never watch their kids. If this has happened to you, I'm sorry. If your parents go out to dragon house and leave you at home, I'm sorry. If your parents go gamble your food money away, I'm sorry. BUT that's not how my parents are and that's not how my parents raised us.

I go clubbing and drinking with my family all the time. EVEN my parents we would drink with them, not club haha that would be funny. We'd have parties at the house atleast 3-5 times a year where we all get drunk and have a BLAST. It's so fun <3. I'm so sorry some of you cannot leave your future/current child with loving siblings or parents who would love to watch them for 4-5 hours once in awhile. What life you must live =/ to have ONLY yourself that you depend on to watch your kid. No one around my house thinks "that's your kid not my kid". That's my niece and nephew you're talking about here. If my sister and brother in law happens to work at the same time, why can't they bring my nephew over to our house with two parents a 4 siblings free to watch them for a few hours? If it's 10PM and all the siblings wanna go grab some food at Dennys but the kids are sleepy why can't the parents watch them for a few hours? They can and they would love to.

I'm really blessed. My whole family is really blessed. We love eachother. Some people just don't have the same family dynamic and I don't feel bad for myself. I feel bad for you who can't enjoy the love and support my siblings and I get from eachother and my parents. I'm not married and I DON'T even want kids but wherever life takes me...if I happen to have a child in the future I have no worries. I will have a great amazing life where I don't have to bare all happiness and burdens involving my child alone and that's LUCKY. Can't say the same for half of the world and that's fine. This is why most of you don't get it and I'm fine with that.

[HerMajesty]

Theres not much difference in parents who party too much and parents who are workaholics. There's a common lack of understanding that children need their parents attention more than money or anything else. Children would rather be living with limited means, but happy with loving parents than being rich but isolated and depressed. Workaholics arent off the hook on this either.

Oh and I'm with Mali. I also have great family dynamics especially on my side that would love to have my kids over at their house. Sometimes they'll bug us over the phone about bringing them over, so I'm blessed. So this does give me an opportunity to hang out with my husband just me and him. And any loving and understanding child from a single parent home would want their mom or dad to find love. Those single parents deserve to find someone to love them ways their kids can't offer...lol. why should they be deprived? By the time most devote all their time with just their kids until they move out of the house, many single parents lose their prime and lose touch of the dating market. It gets really hard for them, depressing to have an empty nest without anyone else to be with. So having fun and rewarding yourself is not selfish if you go out every once in awhile.

[Mali]

Thank goodness someone is as lucky as me and my family. I'm glad not all of us are broken with single moms that party and slut it up every day leaving their kids with siblings who HATE to watch their kids and PARENTS who curse them out/call them whores in front of their child. This happens a lot, but I'm lucky not to be in THIS situation.

My nieces and nephew love us and my parents. It takes a village to raise a child and my family fills the village role amazingly. Not to say that there is never a complaint because sometimes Im lazy as well to watch my nieces and nephews but I'm gonna do it if it's needed! My oldest brother lives in San Diego and sometimes my niece would want to facetime/skype my parents or us. It is not a burden and it is not irresponsible when we as a family want to do it. That's called love. I see nothing wrong with that and it's sad to be that when I bring up clubbing people see it as clubbing all the time/being a whore/pushing your kid on someone else. A lot of you need to understand that we do NOT come from the same types of family. Even if some of you has sisters, friends, baby mamas, wives, husbands, baby daddies, brothers, uncles, aunts or whatever that are IRRESPONSIBLE and shouldn't be having a child does that mean everyone else is like that. YOU might have people in your lives that throw their kid around and use their money on alcohol before they use it on snacks/clothes for their kid but some of us are very blessed where we can go out and party all night and still come home to a child who was lovingly taken care of by a family who barely gets to see their grandchildren/nieces/nephews because we live in different houses. Marry someone better is all I can say, that way, perhaps you can live a life also where you don't have to make your child your life, your air, your water, your soul. That's a MESS.

[Tidus]

Mali, yes, its alright given the circumstance that ur doing it only once or twice a year and theres at least a support system for those times. but what often happen is the mom or dad or both are out partying it up every weekend leaving their child/children for the grandparents to look after. and soon enough, the support system becomes taken for granted leaving another party neglected just so the irresponsible mom,dad,parents could have a moment of fun.

[Mali]

I know those people too well. Those people are gross and yes, if we are referring to them I agree. The thing is, people like that were like that WAY before they even had a child. People should really be careful who they let have their penis and who they let have their vagina. It's serious business and no one thinks about it until they become baby mamas or daddies that have to deal with their childs irresponsible mama and daddies.

It seriously saddens me. I don't roll with those low lives, and YES they are low lives. I know people who have hundreds of pictures of their slutty outfits on facebook with a bunch of different guys every week but absolutely none of their child. You cannot even tell they have children. Then again, I try my best not to judge too much because some of them really try to make it work. I also know moms who do go out clubbing because they need to have fun after working so hard+going to school to get a better life for themselves and their child. The scary part is they need to make sure who watches their kid understands this part and aren't gonna drag them through the mud in front of their own kid. Its really sad when I see moms or mother in laws who treat their grandchild like crap and talk about their daughter to the kid. The innocent kid gets hurt and confused. Sigh...anyway, lets all just be better awesomer people and raise awesome kids so that they can love and care for others the way many of them lack love and care. That's the only way to not have this damn world turn into hell.

[Tidus]

it saddens me as well to see these irresponsible parents. I have even confronted a few(ones I know that aint gonna bust a cap on my ass :)) ) about the issue but they just brush me aside attacking my lack of experience in relationship lol. it doesnt take a relationship to know whats right from wrong and leaving kids at home so they can get drunk is definitely wrong.

[Mali]

I mean, they'll pay for it in the future if not now. When those friends you still keep wonder why their child wants nothing to do with their low life asses you tell em'. It is very rare for a good child to come out of a broken home and even if somehow he/she still rises above, they want nothing to do with their broke ass mama/daddy that collects welfare and gambles, drinks, snorts and smokes it away. Who do they have in their life to teach them to love your parents anyway even if they don't deserve it? Nah. They're gonna remember the time when no one loves them and how alone they were. The ONLY way these types of parents would still end up with a good child in their life is if that good child marries a good person that has super family oriented and go hey man, I'm sorry your parents were horrible but lets love em' anyway. They're blood.

Anyway the point is! These are the very same people that complain everyday about how their life is hard and you see them working at food4less looking like they haven't eaten a good healthy meal in weeks suffering through baby daddys that cheat on them and still enter their body with his dirty penis or baby mamas that open her legs so often her vagina starts to smell different because of the very many penises that has been in her. I know what I just said right now sounded really gross and graphic but its true...it is true. No matter how you look at it, I feel sorry for these people. They just suck and no amounts of substance would ever fill their void.

[HerMajesty]

The problem I am seeing here is peopke are referring to the extreme. You either stay at home all the time with the kids and live only for them, then there are those that folks referring to who party ALL the time. Mali and I are talking about middle ground here. People who ridicule parents that go out periodically are just like those stay at home moms who criticize working moms indpite her coming home in time for dinner and tuck her kids in. Just because she decides to work to provide a second income doesn't mean she loves her kids any less than those who stay at home.

Its like a relationship between a man and woman. You two love each other, but just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean every outting you go has to be with him or her. Ya'll need some time away from each other with your own friends, have your own socisl life away from that relationship. Those times away helps you to appreciate each other more when you see them again. My husband grants me time away with my girls and vice versa. And just like my kids...sometimes they just want to be with their cousins to play with without mommy and daddy there all the time hovering and overprotecting them all the time. You give each other freedom. Show them that in life, you will have a support system in so many ways. I love my children and if I love them, I want them to learn to be independent in the longterm by not being so clingy.

[gaykhmerguy]

Why would a mother go to the club? Again, it's a place full of insecure girls, horny guys, alcohol, and rampant violence. When there are night clubs, violence go through the roof. It's really one of the worst places to be if you think about it. Even if it's once in a while, why would you go?? You can dance at family events, community events, and even family restaurants.

Same with smoking a joint or a night out with a guy friend. These are the "little" things that result in so much problems in American society.