It's unfair.

2 months ago - 9/7/2009 @ 1:00 PM
20 comments

Growing up, I've always felt that my parents treated me differently from my brothers. For one, they were allowed more privileges.. probably due to the simple fact that they were boys. But it didn't stop there. As I got older, I began to see that it went way beyond that. They would instantly get things handed to them.. whereas I had to work for mine. Don't get me wrong.. my parents have always provided me with all of the necessities in life.. but anything extra, I had to work for myself. It was a little different for my brothers though.. especially my little one.

 

While in high school. I was the only senior who still rode the school bus.. up until the very last month of school. Throughout that whole time, there was an extra car we had just sitting in the garage eating dust.. but yet, I was not allowed to drive it. I held a job all throughout junior and senior year, just so I can have a few nice things. I never attended any football games.. and have only been to one school dance, which was homecoming durng freshman year. I literally had no freedom whatsoever. I wasn't even allowed to go to the mall/movies with my friends during the weekends let alone talk on the phone. I had no social life at all out of school. My parents honestly sheltered me from the oustide world. My privacy was also always invaded. While at school, my dad would go through my stuff and try to find my diaries and such.. and open and read any mail that belonged to me. I think I went through a period of depression at one point.

 

My little brother on the other hand. He's always been my parent's dream child. He had everything handed to him on silver platter.. and more. He never had to take the school bus to school.. ever. Right when he turned 16, he was given a car. They gave him his own credit card which he spends roughly a few G's on every month. I love my brother.. and I'm ever so proud of him for everything that he has accomplished.. but sometimes I can't help but feel a little jealous. Only bc I wish my parents could be proud of me the same way they are of him. I think I sort of just became the daughter who got knocked up.. and hasn't finished school yet.

 

 

Just needed to vent bc I'm being emo, lol. Kthxbai.
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Last Updated: 9/7/2009 @ 9:01 PM

20 Comments so far...

icyfrozen
icyfrozen wrote
2 months ago - 9/7/2009 @ 1:04 PM
it is unfair how parents treated boys different from a girl. Just because girl can get pregnant doesn't mean she has to be locked up. so unfair!!
Mama_Sally
Mama_Sally wrote
2 months ago - 9/7/2009 @ 3:43 PM
It really is unfair.. and my mom tells me all the time how much she likes boys better than girls. erghh
yOuAiNtGanGsTaH
yOuAiNtGanGsTaH wrote
2 months ago - 9/7/2009 @ 1:12 PM
i am proud of u sally...why? cause u raise lana without a baby daddy =)
Mama_Sally
Mama_Sally wrote
2 months ago - 9/7/2009 @ 3:43 PM
Thank you dear... but I can't take all of the credit. I had my parents to help every now and then also.
sSilentxstarzZ
sSilentxstarzZ wrote
2 months ago - 9/7/2009 @ 1:55 PM
Awww..I know how you feel. That's EXACTLY how it is with my parents. My brothers go out a lot, while I'm not allowed to. I became used to staying home all the time. And it's unfair because I work harder for my education, yet they get rewarded by getting the car. I had to take the bus all throughout highschool. By Senior year, I was one of the oldest kids on the bus! That made me HATE life even more than I already did. The past 4 years of college, I either got a ride, or had to take the bus. That's why I've always been a patient person....because all I ever seem to do is Wait on others. This is the first year that I actually get to drive to school, but I gotta take the van which the a/c barely works, while my bro gets the smaller car. If I complain, they say they're disappointed in me and that I shouldn't be jealous blah blah blah. Well, why shouldn't I be? I deserve better. I always help around the house and I made them the proudest. I don't argue, I don't rebel like the boys did. No matter how responsible I am, I will never earn my freedom. Gosh, I feel so unappreciated! Sorry to vent on your blog, but just know that you are not alone. :]
Mama_Sally
Mama_Sally wrote
2 months ago - 9/7/2009 @ 3:56 PM
OMG, we are so on the same page! I've been driving this old ugly broke down Lexus which always has problems. I hate driving that piece of shit car but I really can't complain much bc afterall it does get me from point A to point B... even if it takes a lil longer at times, lol. But anywho, yea I hated my senior year even more bc of that. I, too, was like the only senior who still rode the school bus.
Sometimes I can't help but feel a little resentment towards my parents bc I feel that they took away the whole experience of just simply being a teenager for me.. and being able to do normal high school activities. Even after I graduated.. and was going to both school and work full time, I still had to sneak around.. just to somewhat have a social life. That's why I know that no matter how much I accomplish in life, it will never be enough for them. And I'm the only one who helps them around the house as well.. while both of my brothers are unreliable and always out and whatnot. HUY.
_pi_
_pi_ wrote
2 months ago - 9/7/2009 @ 2:02 PM
Just reading it, I can see that it's not fair but on the other hand, would you say that the experience helped you to become a more well-rounded, independent person? Plus, now you'll know how not to raise your own child(ren). :)
Mama_Sally
Mama_Sally wrote
2 months ago - 9/7/2009 @ 4:00 PM
Oh most definitely.. it honestly did make me a more independent person.. but at the same time, it still makes me a bit sad. Just bc I feel like I deserve a lot more. I will never treat me children unequally like that bc it really can emotionally damage a person!
socutemonie
socutemonie wrote
2 months ago - 9/7/2009 @ 2:06 PM
I know what you mean. My younger siblings (2 boys and a girl) get everything handed to them, whereas I've always worked hard for the things I have. But it's taught me a lot, mainly to not be dependent on others, and to rely on myself because I'm the only one that can make things happen for myself. My siblings, though, will always depend on others to help them, and will never learn to be independent. So, I think it's a good thing that you were able to become dependent on yourself.
Mama_Sally
Mama_Sally wrote
2 months ago - 9/7/2009 @ 4:04 PM
You are absolutely right, Monie. Funny, bc I can already see it. My little brother who is about to be 19, has never held a job for more than a month. I sure hope that changes, for his sake anyway. It doesn't help when my parents keep making excuses for him and spoiling the crap out of him. He has never had to work hard at all for the things he has.
Cityangel
Cityangel wrote
2 months ago - 9/7/2009 @ 2:41 PM
I felt the same way growing up and realized parents does more for the other and less for you because they know that you are more capable.
Mama_Sally
Mama_Sally wrote
2 months ago - 9/7/2009 @ 4:09 PM
I really don't know the whole reasoning behind it.. but if that is the case, then I guess I feel a tad bit better lol. But it's hard for me to believe that bc they really took things to a different level at times.
HeartLess
HeartLess wrote
2 months ago - 9/7/2009 @ 3:45 PM
Thats funnie. My youngest sibling is a female and she gets what she wants does what she wants. She gets rides to school but rather ride the bus with her homies. hahahah... they bought a car for her when she was 17 and she barley drove it. from what i have seen, as we was young it was hard for our parents to provide that unessary things because they was starting the life of an american and once they reach to he point of success they r able let it ease with the younger ones. It was unfair that the only one in my family who went to prom was my youngest sibling.
Mama_Sally
Mama_Sally wrote
2 months ago - 9/7/2009 @ 4:16 PM
But in my case, it never stopped. It is still happening. It was never really about money or the material things at the end of the day. It was more so the fact that they always showed my brothers more love and support in all areas. Whatever I did or accomplished was never good enough.. and that's how it will always be I think. Now that I'm older, I can kinda look beyond that in a sense and just focus more on doing things for my own happiness.
Blackie
Blackie wrote
2 months ago - 9/8/2009 @ 6:57 AM
I know the feeling but with my family it's a bit more different. I only have one brother and of course he would be the most spoiled one because of that. Anything that he does cannot be wrong he's like the best in my mothers eyes at least. And then there is my youngest sister who is just as spoiled as he is. She can do so much wrong but my mother wouldn't do or say much about it... easily accepted even when it causes so much problems for our family. My youngest sister was a teen mother, in an out of Juvi had her kids in Juvi so crazy. I think too much freedom on her part gave her the reason to go bad because all of my other siblings grew up fine. We were pretty much sheltered as well, not much we could do but we were provided with things that were needed. Because of that I learned to be dependent on myself and no one else. Got a job in HS, worked, took the bus as my transportation. Never once asked for a car, if any car that I drove it was given from them then taken back just as easily. I bounced back, accomplished myself in life, my own little family all to make my dad proud. I do it all for him because he is the only one who cares and is happy about my accomplishments in life. My main focus are my kids, then my Husband and then the rest in no particular order.
Mama_Sally
Mama_Sally wrote
2 months ago - 9/8/2009 @ 3:04 PM
It's sad when parents treat their children unequally bc it does do major emotional damage to them. I am glad that you were able to accomplish things on your own in life. I know that no matter how much I accomplish, they will never be proud.. the way they are of my brothers... but at least I can say that I did it for myself.. and not for them.
Knee
Knee wrote
2 months ago - 9/8/2009 @ 8:25 AM
i admire you a lot sally. : )
Mama_Sally
Mama_Sally wrote
2 months ago - 9/8/2009 @ 3:05 PM
lol thanks, Ny!
tinaa
tinaa wrote
2 months ago - 9/10/2009 @ 4:01 PM
for all it's worth, i'm really proud of you and what you have done raising your daughter. stray strong mama!
Mama_Sally
Mama_Sally wrote
2 months ago - 9/10/2009 @ 4:25 PM
Thanks mama! <3
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